Looking Glass

Although my physical form is masculine, my spiritual nature is more attributed to the feminine. Growing up, I could identify with my male peers, but I always felt a distinct emotional divergence; I identified more with my sister and female friends. Through this body of work, I am drawing you into the space in between—a dimension both known and unknown, as I navigate these uncertainness and experiences of myself. Through my photographic studies, John Dugdale and his book Life’s Evening Hour found their way into my awareness. I could see myself in him; it felt like I was looking into a mirror. Dugdale lost most of his vision through complications of HIV, but his ability to “see” did not affect his investigation of his unsighted self. He stated in an interview that his clarity of sight came so strongly from inside. His deep Prussian blue cyanotypes mesmerized me, eliciting a visceral response within. Channeling Dugdale’s vulnerability and honesty into my project, the outcome is the subsequent cyanotypes on silk.

This work continues a series regarding identity and gender expression. I have always been behind the camera, projecting through my subjects, trying to express myself; however, it is time for me to step in front and reveal my intimate nude self as my previous sitters have. The more significant aim is to capture the intangible beyond my physicality. I included a still life: Madonna lilies, a fragmented skull, a miniature torso bust, and a pearl necklace. These elements serve as nods to the history of Western Art, as well as a reflection on my own studies, and give any onlookers more to engage with.